Monday, January 18, 2010
Stop Choosing Mr Wrong!!
Do you always seem to go for the wrong guy? You think he's Mr Right but he turns out to be a waste of space in the end. Perhaps he lets you down by being unfaithful or he just won't commit to any kind of recognizable 'relationship.' Maybe he seems great at first but ends up putting you down and treating you badly. And what's more, you've found yourself putting up with being treated badly by a guy.
Reading the signs
It's true that you don't know what someone's really like immediately but there are always signs if you are clear headed enough to know what to look for.
The trouble is when you're infatuated or 'in lust' you don't see the wood for the trees. There are things wrong in the relationship that you just don't want to see. You make excuses for all those little signs that it just won't work in the long term. Or maybe you've been falling into the trap of the 'I'm the one who can change him!' (This is perhaps the biggest relationship trap of them all).
Infatuation stops straight thinking
Infatuation stops you thinking straight. Strong emotion is what makes you pick the wrong guy and stops you seeing what's really going on. You end up feeling hurt and stupid.
What about all those nice guys?
Then there's the guys you know would be faithful wonderful partners but they just don't do it for you. They're 'too nice' and not exciting. But there has to be a middle way; a guy who is stimulating and good long term partner material.
The reason that the 'nice guy' may not always do it for you is that being too nice may also indicate lack of courage. Women like brave men because brave mates are, from an evolutionary point of view, better able to survive. So if you are not attracted to a man who seems too kind there may be good reasons for this but you need to find a balance.
In order to find a man you are attracted to but who is also good for you and knows how to support you, you need to really think about what is important to you then keep your head when you start dating so that you can clearly see what is in front of you.
The common mistakes when dating Mr Wrong are:
Making excuses for him
To avoid this you need to give him responsibility for his own behavior and make him accountable for his own behavior. So if he flirts outrageously with your best friend you need to really know it's his behavior not a reflection of you.
Falling for the wrong guy - what's important to you?
So if reliability and trust are important to you then does his behavior generally meet your criteria? If the answer is no then you need to really look at what's going on and keep a part of yourself detached. True love takes time to develop - infatuation and desperation blind you.
Bad men habits
If you have low self-esteem because of the way you have been conditioned in life then you may have got into the habit of going for and staying with men who treat you badly. If this is the case them you need to think about what you really need not what you think you want. The way to do this is to calm down and see clearly.
Relationships go wrong because people can't see clearly what's really going on.
This session will help you relax in relationships, enjoy them but also see clearly and know how to act for the best - because if you don't look out for yourself who will?